


The Aphrodisiac Properties of Kilts

by viklikesfic (v_angelique)



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: First Time, Kilts, M/M, Semipublic Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-22
Updated: 2006-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-05 18:50:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_angelique/pseuds/viklikesfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://ghostinthemist.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://ghostinthemist.livejournal.com/"><b>ghostinthemist</b></a> asked for "BillyBean kiltfic. There are none. Extra love if they have semi-public sex."  I hope this qualifies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Aphrodisiac Properties of Kilts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostinthemist](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ghostinthemist).



After the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, an event whose exact purpose was ambiguous but at which lots of drinking certainly took place, the hobbits along with Orli and Viggo decided to crash Sean Bean's house in Wellington, as he had declined the opportunity to attend, and therefore had not been involved in the renting of a kilt—a process which Billy, at least, considered an essential Fellowship bonding ritual.

Of course, there was the small matter that Viggo wasn't wearing a kilt, and Sean Astin hadn't come to the event either, and Billy was not so insistent that either John or Ian get involved in the kilt-donning, but such details didn't really come to surface under the haze of plenty of good whisky. It made perfectly good sense to Billy, as they all tumbled out of the cab with Billy's spare kilt (a predominantly red tartan) and ambled up the pavement to Sean's doorstep, that Sean Bean _needed_ to be wearing a kilt, and this needed to happen _right now_.

Fortunately, Sean wasn't doing anything of any import at the moment, nor was he sleeping. In fact, the man happened to be enjoying a glass of whisky himself, and was well on the way to tipsy when he answered the door. He wore a pair of grey linen trousers and a black dress shirt—Italian silk, if Billy wasn't mistaken—with the sleeves rolled up and the top few buttons undone, and Billy found himself quelling an unreasonable urge to lick Sean's stubble.

"Um, hi… we, um…"

"Billy thinks you need to put on a kilt!" Dom supplied helpfully, barging past Sean to make a beeline to the man's kitchen and any alcohol that might be on hand there. Elijah and Orlando followed, along with Viggo, shrugging apologetically, which left Sean standing bewildered in the doorway, facing a somewhat embarrassed Billy, holding a kilt on a dry cleaning hanger.

"Uh… hey."

"Hi." Sean smiled helpfully and gestured to the house behind him. "So, you've got a kilt for me to try on then?" Billy nodded dumbly and held it up, as if providing proof that he wasn't simply insane. Sean nodded back, stepped aside to let Billy into the house, and led the way to the bathroom off the main hallway, ignoring the hobbits and their revelry in the kitchen.

"Um, well, here it is…." Billy stuttered, holding it up again and beginning to feel a bit like a saleslady in a dress shop.

"Come on in. I'll need help, you know. I've never tried on a kilt before." Sean smiled widely, and Billy felt like such a bastard as he stepped in behind him, locked the door, and thanked God for small favours, such as large sporrans.

"Well, um, it's not that difficult, you just…"

"Billy." Sean's hands rested on Billy's shoulders, and his eyes immediately flitted to the floor, getting a bit hung up on… floor. Floor. Floor's safe. Pretty blue tiles… "You're shaking."

"I, um… maybe…"

Sean grinned, and Billy thought it was the most genuinely happy smile he had seen out of the man, though perhaps he was a bit too inebriated to be a truly competent judge. "I've been wanting to do this for ages," Sean admitted, his voice steady. "Just so you know."

Billy lost a few seconds of his life at that moment, for he could not for the life of him recall the exact moment that Sean's lips made impact with his, the haze of nervousness and arousal too blurry to penetrate. What he was going to remember, for the rest of his life, at least, was the feeling of the countertop cutting across his lower back, the press of Sean's erection nudging that blasted sporran against his own, the scratch of a just-trimmed beard on his skin and the artful dance that was Sean's tongue, loosened by alcohol. He moaned, and it was not a very manly sound.

"Oh, Billy." Then, that wasn't a very manly sigh, either, so maybe the score was even. "Fuck, you don't know for how long I've wanted to do that…"

"You keep saying that," Billy mumbled, uselessly, against Sean's lips. The other man frowned, and started to pull away, and Billy shook his head frantically, feeling rather helpless.

"No, no, I mean… me too, Sean, sorry, God…" Billy shrugged, smiling as if to say "don't blame me; blame the whisky," and Sean matched his smile and bent to kiss him again, this kiss no less enticing than the first, and a bit disturbingly addictive. Billy was beginning to wonder just how far this was going to go, a few metres from the guests now in the living room and very much within earshot, when Sean broke away to whisper, quite heatedly, in Billy's ear.

"The kilt. You still want me to try it on?"

"Oh _fuck_ yes," Billy let out in one breath as Sean's tongue darted out and licked around his earlobe, and his knees went a little weaker. He was vaguely impressed to find his fingers still clutched tightly around the hanger, which had dented an angry red line in his palm by now, and set about laying it out as he tried to calm his breathing.

"So I'm just going to lose these," Sean announced with a wicked smile, and of course Billy's eyes were drawn instantly to Sean's buckle and those large, calloused, fucking brilliant hands popping it open, reaching for the fly…

"Let me," Billy whispered, his eyes dark with arousal, and Sean nodded, dropping his hands and letting Billy's much smaller ones unzip his fly with surprisingly nimble fingers for his current state of permanent tremble. Billy's fingers brushed eagerly over Sean's covered erection, and at the sharp sucking in of oxygen that accompanied the move, repeated it with a bit more pressure before kneeling to help Sean step out of his trousers. He chose not to rise as he slid down the boxer shorts, and sure enough there Sean was, hard as a rock, inches from his finger tips.

Sliding the fine silk of his shirt up and out of the way, Billy placed a reverent kiss on Sean's left hip. His eyes flicked up to catch Sean's hungry gaze, and then let his fingers curl around the erection presented to him, stroking once, twice.

"Beautiful," Billy commented, his voice thick with emotion and arousal, before pressing a kiss to the tip of Sean's cock and then reaching for the kilt.

"Oh, hell, this had better not take too long," Sean grumbled as Billy wrapped the fabric around his almost comically saluting penis, fastening buckles and pin as Sean cursed under his breath.

"Shite, I forgot the sporran," Billy realised when he was done. "I guess you can't quite go out there like this," he pointed out with a giggle, gesturing to the very obvious bulge under Sean's kilt.

"Who said anything about going _out_?" Sean growled, and then Billy was yelping as Sean grabbed him by the hips and lifted him up on the counter with little effort expended.

"Sean? Bills? What the hell are you doing back there?" Elijah yelled, and Billy gulped as he realised that his inadvertent noise had drawn attention to them.

"We're fine!" Sean yelled back in a steady voice that Billy had to give him a lot of credit for. "Billy's just helping me suss out the kilt!"

The responding silence reassured Billy, and truly he wouldn't have cared as Sean's hands found his hips through pleated black cloth and his lips found Billy's, their kiss erotic and desperate. One of Sean's hands dropped to Billy's leg, stroking up over curly ginger hairs in a way that made Billy shiver uncontrollably, and then slid inside the thigh to disappear under Billy's own kilt.

"Fuck, Sean," Billy gasped as Sean's hand found his cock underneath the smooth black fabric, executing a brilliant twist-and-pull that was a bit different from Billy's usual technique but was as thrilling as the new sensation of Sean's lips devouring his.

"Gotta get rid of this fucking thing. It's in my way," Sean complained, unbuckling the belt that held the sporran in place and sliding it to the corner of the counter, out of their way. "Much better," he mumbled before taking a hold of Billy's ear between his teeth and changing the angle of his stroke in a way that made sparks shoot behind Billy's eyes.

"Fuck, damnit, Sean, you have to slow down…"

Sean grinned and dropped his lips to Billy's neck, mercifully removing his hand but stepping closer, sliding Billy's hips closer to the edge of the counter with both hands on his arse. After a moment, Billy got the bright idea to slide one of his legs between Sean's own, and they both gasped, one of Billy's hands tugging accidentally where it had landed in Sean's hair. They began grinding recklessly against each other, their kiss turning almost pornographic as tongues slid back and forth and lips disappeared between sets of teeth. And then…

"You guys! Hurry the fuck up!" The door rattled twice in its frame at Dom's persistent knock, and Billy's moan was thankfully swallowed in Sean's throat.

"We'll be out in just a tic!" Sean replied, and Billy was happy to note that his voice was a bit shakier as he ground hard against Billy's leg. "Fuck, lad, more, finish me," he whispered under his breath, directly into Billy's ear, as one hand tightened in Sean's hair and the other clutched at his arse.

"Well hurry the fuck up! I've got to pee!"

Billy bit his lip hard to stifle a groan as Sean sucked hard on his pulsepoint. "Bloody vampire," he whispered before turning back to the door. "Two seconds, Dommeh!"

"Can't you just let me in? It's not like any of us haven't seen Beanie in his underwear!"

"C'mon, Billy," Sean whispered. "C'mon. Come apart for me, fucking do it. Right now, Bills, come for me," he demanded, lifting both their kilts at the last minute in a half hearted attempt to avoid stains, biting down hard on Billy's bottom lip as Dom continued to natter on the other side of the door.

Almost missing the rough scratch of wool on his bare skin, Billy had no time to further contemplate the loss as his dick rubbed against the lightly-furred surface of Sean's strong upper thigh, muscle straining underneath his sensitive skin as he spattered it with come, a high-pitched whinge in his throat escaping from the seal of their lips as Sean came silently against his own leg.

"Bills? You sure you're okay? Tell me you didn't stab yourself with the kilt pin," Dom groaned, and Billy just rolled his eyes as he collapsed back against the mirror, the fabric hiked up humorously above his softening organ.

"Yeah, yeah he did, bloody eejit," Sean replied. "Almost done though, we'll be out in a second."

"About bloody time!" Dom agreed from the hallway as Sean quickly dabbed at each of their thighs with a spare flannel. Adjusting his own kilt, Billy gingerly slid down from the counter, eyeing himself in the mirror for any visible signs before Sean grabbed his shirt and yanked him into a brief but hot kiss. He winked at Billy before unlocking and opening the door.

"Hey, sorry about that," Sean said with an apologetic shrug as Dom hurried to the toilet.

"Your finger okay, Bills?" Dom asked as he unzipped and did his business, not paying attention to Sean as he scooped up his trousers and boxers from the floor by the shower.

"What? Oh, yeah, it's um, fine."

"Let me see it," Dom insisted.

"It's fine."

Dom gave Billy an odd look as he zipped up and went to wash his hands, and then his eyes fell between sink and toilet, to a hastily deposited dark green flannel with telltale white streaks marring it.

"Wait a minute…" Dom turned and looked at Sean, who was trying not to laugh, and then back to Billy, who was blushing heartily, snatching his sporran off the counter and trying to refasten the belt without drawing more attention to himself. "Oh, _bugger_! There are some things I just do _not_ want to know!" And Dom left the bathroom in disgust to update the rest of the crew, while Sean and Billy promptly ignored him and scurried back to the bedroom to further investigate the aphrodisiac properties of kilts.

"Fuck, Billy. Those hands of yours are so _fucking_ incredible…"

Now that they were behind a locked door, in a bed, Billy suddenly became a bit more confident, his thought processes a bit less hazy around the edges. Now, it was very clear to him that he wanted Sean's shirt off _now_, and his fingers made short work of the buttons, caressing Sean's flesh first through Italian silk and then pushing the halves aside to slide his palms underneath, pinch the dusky little nubs with two fingers…

"Christ! Jesus, lad, you've got to… oh bleedin' hell!"

Billy smiled to himself as he sucked one nipple between his teeth, then went back to the task of getting that god damned shirt _off_, so that he could rub his hands over Sean's fucking _fantastic_ chest, and then move on to more prescient matters.

Sean's body was to Billy a bit of a marvel. He wasn't exactly badly off as far as bodies go himself, but Sean worked out all the fucking time, and his chest was like sculpted marble, his muscles hard under Billy's fingers as he caressed pecs, abs, biceps. He continued on down, his index fingers and thumbs making a triangle (it made sense at the time, to his drunken brain) around Sean's left calf.

He let this makeshift shape drift up over Sean's calf, feeling flexing muscle beneath as his fingers were forced to part slightly, and then up to the knee. His eyes inspected each scar before moving on, tracing the coarse curls of hair, and then a muscular thigh, his two hands now permanently separated as they continued upwards.

Billy didn't pay attention to the way Sean's chest was heaving as his eyes locked in on Billy's explorations, the pupils dilated. He didn't see the evidence of arousal in Sean's expression, or feel it in his heartbeat. But, it was pretty crystal clear when Billy's hands separated, the one on the outside sliding up to grasp Sean's hip underneath the kilt, the one on the inside sliding up and flattening over a naked and half-hard erection.

Billy looked up, and grinned at Sean, feeling unexplainably giddy. His fingers curled, the tips raking through a thatch of coarse hair, and Sean growled, yanking Billy's hand away, easily flipping him. Billy decided that seeing Sean Bean from below, flat on his back in fact, wasn't such a bad angle.

"No more hand jobs, Billy," Sean rasped out, his accent thick and his eyes flashing with desire. Billy licked his lips slowly, deliberately. Sean's hands tightened on his shoulders before one leg slipped between his own, a knee nudging his thighs apart. Billy vaguely registered the scratch of hair as their legs brushed, the sensation of flannel on his inner thigh, and then he was groaning aloud as Sean rubbed against him.

Billy bent his elbows, trying to reach up for something to grab. Sean relinquished the hold on his shoulders, reconsidered, and took Billy's wrists instead. Pulling them gently up over Billy's head, Sean transferred both wrists to one hand, pressed them hard to the pillow, and snogged every single cell out of Billy's brain.

Billy could feel himself writhing, moaning, begging, but he was simply watching himself writhe, moan, beg. Billy wasn't a participant in the experience at all, except to surrender to the absolutely mind numbing force of Sean kissing like he meant it.

"Spread your legs," Sean commanded, and Billy obeyed. "Back a little more." Billy folded his body almost in half. He felt the cool air on his arse and the way the fabric bunched between his crotch and stomach. He whimpered when Sean, kneeling between his legs, sucked a finger between his lips with hollow cheeks.

The finger slid into his body, and Billy moaned.

"Shh. The others are going to hear, lad." Billy giggled, twisted against the finger, moaned again, louder.

"Let them hear. It's your fucking house!" In Billy's brain, it made sense, and Sean just shook his head.

"Guess I'll have to find another way to shut you up," Sean mumbled, and this time Billy's moans were swallowed, even as a second finger slid in, dry and a bit painful. He whinged into Sean's mouth, hoping he would get the message, but Sean didn't remove his fingers. He scissor them, curled them twice, and then rubbed with his knuckles against that blessed, blessed spot. Sean bit his lip, and Billy howled.

"God damn, you wankers! Keep it the fuck down!" Dom yelled from the living room. Billy turned bright red, and Sean just turned to the door with characteristic Sheffield manners.

"If you don't want to hear it, get the fuck out of my house, Monaghan!" Billy smiled and bucked into Sean's hand.

"You want another, lad?" Sean's voice was soft, and Billy was glad the alcohol was there to give him an excuse for falling in love.

"Yeah. Please," Billy agreed, moaning as Sean leaned over, withdrew his fingers most of the way, spat on the junction, and then slid them back in at the exact moment he swallowed Billy's cock. "Oh, _fuck_, Sean! Please… fucking Christ…"

Sean grinned as he let it slide out, wiggled his fingers a bit more, rose up to his knees. "You're ready, lad."

Sean had let Billy's wrists go when he had to bend over, but they stayed up above his head, his legs still spread and bent back and half-encased in knee-high black socks, his kilt bunched up around his waist, providing a spectacularly debauched picture. He stared at Sean—strong arms, strong chest, wearing Billy's kilt, which just covered strong thighs—and begged.

"Please, Sean. Fuck me, please."

Sean grinned, winked at Billy, and held Billy's arse open with his hands as he rolled a condom on and pushed in. It was tight, a rough go of it at first, and Billy moaned, squinting his eyes shut, trying to relax, trying not to clench down. Sean groaned with the effort of holding back, trying to give Billy time to adjust, rather than fucking him six ways to Sunday as he so desperately wanted.

"I can't… Sean, please, you have to move!" Billy begged. Sean smiled and obliged, pulling backwards and thrusting in again hard enough to rattle the wooden headboard against the wall. Billy gasped and let out a keening cry, desperately reaching back to hold onto the slats and keep himself from being fucked right through the wall.

Sean just grunted and grabbed Billy's face in his hands, kissing him hard and rough, the clack of teeth and pull of Billy's tender lower lip contributing to the hot swells of desire in Billy's stomach as he moaned loudly into Sean's mouth. Soon, however, Sean was pulling back and grabbing the headboard himself, using his grip on the wood to take Billy harder, crunching their bodies together so roughly that Billy slid up on the mattress to the point that he was almost hitting his head. Growling, Sean grabbed Billy around the waist and dragged him up so that his back leaned against the headboard, his calves over Sean's shoulders. It would've been uncomfortable if it weren't so fucking hot, Billy taking a hold of Sean's shoulders inside his own calves and allowing Sean to push him up against the wall as he thrust into his body, actually lifting him up off the bed with his harder thrusts.

When Billy came, his head snapped back, hitting the wall, but he barely cared, and Sean's impassioned moan as he found his own release, biting into Billy's shoulder to stifle it, made it entirely worth it.

Afterwards, they gingerly unwound their bodies, Billy immediately stretching his legs out to relieve the onset of a muscle cramp, and Billy giggled when he spotted the white mark on his bunched-up black kilt.

"Oh, shite, I'm sorry Bills, I didn't mean…"

Billy laughed harder at Sean's distress and shook his head, gathering the larger man into his arms. "I could care less, mate. Don't worry about it. It's on the inside, anyway. It'll serve as a nice little memory, yeah?"

Sean grinned and gave Billy one more sloppy kiss.

"Quite right."


End file.
